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Its the same city..

Sometimes, its peacefully alive,

Sometimes, it deadens my soul.

Sometimes, it sets me free,

While sometimes, it traps me.

Sometimes, it rejoices in beauty,

Sometimes, it spells monotonous duty.

Sometimes, I yearn for it,

Sometimes, I want to burn it!

At times, it reinforces my faith,

Once in a while, it spells my internal death.

Spring blooms here, beautifully.

Winter, is often moody.

The same roads, which once were traced,

Accompanied by a warm embrace,

Sometimes now, just equivocate.

Things that mattered, stopped mattering;

Things that stopped mattering, suddenly matter.

Its strange, how perceptions change,

The walls once built, suddenly seem insane.

Things, once, thoughtfully, stubbornly ingrained,

Now seem, like a fools game! 

In the fight of the elephants, its always the grass that gets hurt!

unfair, but true.

March Rush.. Memories gush..

This year, the winter was prolonged. Spring is here, from being rather chilly, it is abruptly warming up. Last year, the same time, the weather was warmer, the tempers hot, and my house, on fire! My brother was getting married. 21 march was the d day. The whole month before that – a seething haze!

Tension was the mood in the air. Celebrations were secondary, priority was a lot of work, consequences of which, were a lot of sleeplessness, fights, shouting, fits of anger, irritation and oh! Don’t ask! I was even recommended an anger management course by Ritu! :) Everything was out of order. The house was in a chaos, people poured in like flood water, moods swung like swings, and poor little me, had lots and lots of work and responsibility on my shoulders!

No doubt the whole ordeal was intercepted with a lot of happy moments. There was much merriment in the air too. Most of which, frankly, was enjoyed, either after or in the first two weeks of march. Friends from all over India, and even from abroad, came in for the much awaited family reunion. Jess officially took leave- which is HUGE! And the late nights, songs, dance, the funny moments, memorable drives, meeting new people, getting to know them made it all worth a lot.

With barely any sleep for weeks at a stretch, the day finally arrived. 5 am, and everyone wanted to bathe first. Sleepless, swollen eyes. Not the most perfect of looks. The groom himself walked in the house at 4 am! got ready and lay relaxing, while everyone else buzzed about. Everyone ate something for breakfast, the elderly, due to medicinal reasons, while the young for energy. Left was me. everything over by the time it was my time. Oh! How I still remember that feeling!

Anyhow, I was the sister (in-charge!). it was my DUTY to collect the money from every corner possible! Lots of laughter and fun followed. While my nails were still being painted in the car, we reached the destination. Soon, the beautiful ceremony of the pheras took place, and before we knew, I had a bhabi!

Fun frolic and some adventure was the only thing around! A few of us came back, for my parents were to get the doli. Thank God I escaped. My mom cried, for she could envision me there someday, and had I been there at the time, I wud have just asked my bhabi to stay home!

Anyhow, it was nice to see my bhabi and everyone smile on being back home. The evening gave way to night and more celebrations. The wedding day gave way to the next, the reception. THAT was a lot of fun, but only once we reached the venue. Before that, with the whole house left to me, including all the people and aunties who just wouldn’t stop getting ready, and the transport, and the keys and the.. am just glad i survived! Om Shanti.. that was the only mantra to sanity!:)

All through my brothers wedding, and even after, the only incessant question, or maybe a suggestion to me was, ur next! Everyone wanted to know about my plans for my wedding. My being a  Manglik was not a botheration anymore, for it was ‘declared’ by the astrologers that wedding to any guy after I reach 26 years of age is possible. (these wretched pundits of sorts!) I don’t really know if that relieved my parents, but it definitely put me in the line of fire. Proposals came knocking. My dad only too happy. He wanted me to just say yes! be married and be ‘settled’ soon! What ensued was not the most pleasant of things, but it definitely made me weary of everyone who had a son my age! I think if my dad was allowed to have his way, all our friends, who are eagerly waiting for my wedding, would have been given the news and dates too! I would have either died in depression or taken a permanent asylum at Jesse’s place (i was almost a refugee at his place all those drama days!).  

thank God, a man can have his will, but a woman, necessarily, has her way!:)

Its been a year since Harman and Navneet got married. and sometimes, it feels like it was just yesterday. Time has flown, but it has also crawled, for a long time now! Its rightly said : Time passes quickly, but moves slowly.

Happy Anniversary guys.. may you have a blissfully married life, for the rest of ur life! :)

Captain Ritu Raghav.. very very proud of u!

Don’t believe this.. Ritu is a captain in the Indian Army!

All the OTA troubles,

All the sick of it muffles,

All the mad people there,

All the girls,

Who were once fair.

All that time which

Just wouldn’t pass,

All the phones calls

That wud never (long) last,

All the fall ins, all the raggda,

The mad CoCo and his weird tantas!

The final day finally arrived,

And proud, each one of us are,

For your mighty mighty fight! :)

A salute to the woman, who “sleeplessly”, survived OTA and passed out with the stars and a rank, that adds more shine to her character.

Love u lots and lots!

Very proud!:)

Flowers bloom..the heart doomed!

Mid Sunday afternoon, riding through the City beautiful, I felt like a happy being. Spring is in the air, flowers in full bloom; with bright colours, a warm sun and cool breeze, every bit of me felt, pleased.  Even the naked trees lining sector 16 and 10 road, had beautiful flowers on them. Nothing but flowers, of all shades, of pink and orange. Life seemed good.

While I waited to meet the lawyer, an old friend from college walked in. Both of us surprised and happy to see each other. We chatted and caught up, while the advocate managed his work. It was a pleasure to see her. We had been good friends initially, but then our priorities changed and we drifted. But strangely, all of that didn’t seem to matter now.

Shot off to the kids from there. They all were very happy today. Touchwood.

Saurabh, a little boy, who was the centre of everyone’s attention at the sector 47 home, is leading a shabby, shoddy life. Sisters looked after him so well. He, really had the whole house, including the kids, running at his commands once. And now, he is this unknown in the many. A child, beaten by circumstances.

 Shortly before we were to leave, we came across another little boy, with the most painfully sweet eyes. His elder brother and him, have joined the bandwagon just few days back. That little fellow, with a disturbing past, so much innocence, and such a lost, defeated look on his face, broke and stole my heart. All at the same time.

Everytime, there is a new face, with a new story.  Everytime, there are new challenges to deal with.  Everytime, the kids, awe you. Everytime, they humble you.  

I am never upset after meeting my kids. But tonight, I am a sad being.

Here’s to that little heartbreaker..

Scared eyes, in a lonely world,

Some words of care

And the innocence pours,

Out and away, in inhibited ways,

A heart waiting to be loved

In that little boy lays!

I wish he’l open up,

Love and be loved,

Feel the wind, the sun and the rain,

Not caged in his shell, I hope he remains.

Drr. Jesse

UR ZIMBLY THA BESSSTTT !!!!!!!! :)

w-w-i-ever-d-w-u!!

THANK U SOOOOO VERY MUCH!:)

The Law shall always catch up..

No matter how much Iv tried to run away from the law, the legal fraternity and the so called legal ‘profession’, it surely doesn’t want to leave me.

The doctorate degree has not even begun in the true sense, and here, we are served summons to appear in the courts. The dept. Is extremely incompetent, and wants to leave us in the lurch to defend ourselves. Even if not that, they surely don’t want to go out of the way to help, in matter that should and does concern them than us.

A third ranker in the university level exam, who failed to file in the application for PhD course, and was so ‘shocked and traumatised’ to see another dept level ‘illogical’ exam being conducted (as her petition reads), that she did not sit for the same. So obviously she never got the admission. Now the lady decides to walk upto the High Court, challenging the admission procedure for the course.

Challenge the procedure, no problem. Where, apparently, is the need to attach the students as the respondents too? Where does the case stand, when u ask the students, why did u take admission? Well, the dept offered us the same, we were capable of it, and we took it.

Even if I understand the motive (which is not malafide) behind forcing us to be respondents, for her lawyer is a young chap living in the hostel, and I hope, incapable. I don’t understand the spineless, gutless, incompetent, and even to an extent, an impotent , approach of the dept. They are not putting their foot down, that the university lawyer should defend us. The case is clubbed with that of the dept and has no personal element in it. If I was alone in the matter, maybe I wouldn’t have minded  having a personal lawyer. But since we are 5 of us together, why should there be a personal advocate when the case does not really concern the individuals concerned.

Have to meet the university advocate tomorrow. HATE this whole process and stuff, especially when I know that Iv got to put my energy to something more constructive, more purposeful, than deal with such Godforsaken things, and that too on my own. Though I know there must be something good in the whole process, and am sure il have something to learn. But I hate it nonetheless. Am losing time to useless things, and that makes me a perturbed, irritated person right now.

Btw.. I get a scholarship for doin the Phd! I was thinking of revoking it, but Iv been talked out of that idea. So the formalities shall be completed, and I hope the process takes a farily long time to materialise.  Enough of a long time to give me my peace of mind, to give others a piece of my mind!  

To the Woman..

To the woman we came from,

To the sister we look upto,

To the wife who is the pillar,

To the friend who is a miracle,

To the little girls,

Who can be hysterical.

To the grit, to the wit,

To the struggles, to the fits,

To the hope, to the life,

That a woman imbibes.

Salutes to the spirit, with which a woman is enshrined!

TV Watching.. hmm!

Watching TV, I happened to ‘carefully’ see the IDBI bank advertisement. They show a young boy, with an elephant. Friends. The ad beautifully captures their mutual love and presses upon the fact that ‘MONEY’, is not what relations are all about. Hence, they conclude, they have removed the tariffs from savings and current account deposits, for ‘you’, the customer is more important to them, than money.

IDBI is a bank, in the banking business.  How much more oxymoronic can an advertisement get!

Then was tuned in the channel, “Times Now”, which in my opinion should be renamed – “Scams Now!” The 9 o clock news by Mr. Arnab Goswami on that channel, am sure, invades many a households and their peace, just as it does mine.

I strongly feel that the quality of debates on the channel can be improved, with Mr. Goswami adding less content, and imposing less of ‘his’ opinions  upon other people’s views. He should really just allow the participants to speak. He definitely can do better by being less repetitive, less intrusive and surely, by asking less irrelevant questions sometimes..most of the times. And even by trying not to stir up news.  Doing their homework better about the issues in vogue, would help them a lot more. I usually find a lot of things messed up when it comes to some legal aspects. They should be more careful, for they reach out to the masses. And fooling or confusing them, for TRPs, is not ‘ethical’.

I also donot support the defamation drive by Times Now. For instance, their (in)famous, ‘Tainted Thomas’ (while referring to the CVC, or maybe ex CVC). The guy has only been charge sheeted.  He has NOT been convicted by ANY court of law, and so the charges have not been proved against him to ‘taint’ him. The morality and legality of his holding that office is a separate issue. Times Now insists upon his guilt, and rather aggressively at that. They are not a court of law, and so should not be getting into their business.  Moreover, every person is presumed to be innocent, until proven guilty. It is a basic fundamental of civilized society, and I hope, they believe we live in one.

Even though I hate it when Mr. Arnab Goswami nods his head from left to right, while a speaker puts up a point he disagrees with. But I love the man for his guts, for the fact, that he follows his heart and takes it upon himself to ‘do something’ for the things and the causes he believes in. Means maybe right or wrong, but the passion just shows. A lot of people may disagree with the means to the end, (like I do with his), but I definitely cannot disagree with the fact that he has changed the face, of the 9 o clock news!

He loves what he does, and does what he loves. And the fact that he takes the weekends off- respect him even more!