Don't think of what could have been,
Think of what can be!

Thank u Mr. Jesse!
Muah!

..........

Iv seen castles made out of sand,


Met people who believe destiny is engraved


on the palm of their hands,


Iv seen people change their faith,


Experienced love change into hate,


Iv seen people grow younger with age,


and a bird who wouldn't fly


out of an empty cage.


Iv seen love sold for money,


People who are devastated inside


being on the outside funny,


Iv seen the unicorn fall in love with the toad,


People who owned half the city,


have now hit the road,


Iv learnt to expect the unexpected,


Perfection doesnt exist,


We'r all defected,


Everyone cries,


some just hide the tears,


They say coal turns diamonds


over a thousand years,


Someone may believe you are one in a million,


For some others, you maybe just one of the billion,


so live life with all that you have,


cherish all your moments,


happy or sad.




Feel blessed for what you are,
for sometimes we forget who we are.




Anonymous.   

mad, MAder, MADEst!

There are days that drive one mad. There are days and circumstances that drive one madder. And the maddest day of my life I think, is yet to come! And I hope not anytime soon!

The madder day was just today,

As I ran away and ran around,

The latter helped,

While the former,

Only made me frown!

Before I knew, the sun rose,

Before I knew, I was off on the roads,

Meetings held and a job well done,

And that alone was the good deed done!

Some good company and a lousy lunch,

And before we knew,

It was time to run!

The frustrating corridors and

the chit chat shows!

The seminars.. more so!

Till 8, bloody, I sat and waited,

For the unnecessary guests, were awaited,

Wanted to wish them away since ever,

And it got fulfilled when my day was over!

Tired and frozen got back home,

For your information,

To a scary revelation,

Tomorrow maybe the chosen day,

When they ‘might’ decide to grace us,

With their presence and foray.( literally!)

Can’t run tomorrow, for time is too precious,

To be wasted on designs, so vexatious,

Only wish better sense prevails,

Upon those, on whom responsibility entails!

And for the darlings about whom am snarling:

LIVE and LET LIVE!!!!!

HIV.. Not good!

Encountered strangeness today. Totally.

Met an HIV+ couple. Talked to them for over half an hour, and still trying to come to terms with their priorities and fears. In this one and often, ‘small’ world, we are living such different realities, with diverse priorities. Where I am unduly concerned about my coursework and duly concerned about the way I need to chart out my life, there is this couple, dealing with a genuine fear of ‘what after us?’

A young couple, maybe late 30’s, is wondering how to ‘ingrain’ in their children the fact that they may not be around for long. For telling them about it, time and time again, has only led to escapism on part of the kids. Being discriminated at the RT centre, on every visit, is definitely a lesser problem, than the prospective discrimination that their children may face. They are struggling every goddamn day to keep pace with life, to live life! And what life!

In the half hour conversation today, I sensed the turmoil within them. The lady mentioned the uncertainty they face with passing time, too many times! I wonder how would they have dealt with the ‘diagnosis’ initially, with the fact that their family is going to be shattered and an almost end to their normal, regular, healthy life? How would have they explained it to their children? And what would have the children understood, being barely 8-10 years old?

 I agreed to help out with the kids, since thats the bare minimum that anyone can do.

And she offered to pray for me, to a God she still strangely believes in.

They left me speechless and thoughtful. 

Its a crazy world and I wonder why?

P.S- but after this thought and before i posted this, Amrita told me that there is reason to cheer. I need to give hope to the couple that if they look after themselves, and take their meds regularly, with regular med check ups, 10-20 years more of life is awaiting them.

So am gonna look for some pamphlets and so will mrit, and we’r gonna give it to them for them to understand, and consult their doctor on! Mission Hope is on guys! :) 

Just 24 hours in a day,

Are too less for me to fair,

Well, and to excel,

In this marathon race!

34 seems a good number,

Even if it means putting the

Moon in a slumber!

At least the pace will relax,

A lot less it will tax,

Giving room to chillax!

Running ahead of time, is a dream that is mine! 

Amen!

Revelations..and thoughts!

Revelations, revelations and more revelations about the society that we live in.

 And Oh! God! They are true!

A short walk out in the park became a rather extended two hour run with lots and lots of chatting! Casual chit chat soon turned into ‘interesting’ conversation, and then, the spooky theories about -marriage and the likelihood  of marriage and the kinds of marriage and what works and doesnot work in a marriage. It didn’t take long for the two happily single friends to get stunned and scared about how things could be ‘theorised’ and more importantly, that shit! One day, sooner or later, this may really be a part of our lives- marriage that is, and to our respective spouses that is.

[Clarification intended, lest someone gets offended! :)]

When the incessant walk had almost tired me out, revelations followed that almost left me open mouthed, gaping! Damn! Not that I would like to reveal any of them here. But true, women better be on their guard, for you never know who eyes you with what eye. Even though we have freedom of life and personal liberty, the burden of protecting the same lies with us, the state cannot really be depended upon for the same. For the state of affairs is rather insane!

And at times like these I feel its great to have a boyfriend, for it somehow, helps you bother less. Not that  the society is any kinder to taken women, for ‘taking a taken woman’ may just be more attractive, but personally, it may help to burden one less. And burden one lots otherwise maybe. :)

Oh! Its a complicated world.

But why am I surprised? Especially when I know that child abuse is rampant in this very society.  Educated, married men, with a decent family and profession are violating children. Not just girls, but boys too! There are unsuspecting people who are, just so good at their game, of ruining childhoods, scarring them forever. How many kids are able to get out of ‘abused experiences’ on their own? There does not have to be sex involved in the same, a sexual gesture is enough. A wrong touch which gives you a creep is more than enough to send a child in a shell of horror! But of course, what happens is way more than ‘just’ a touch!

Child sexual abuse is extremely prevalent in our society. Its an open secret that discretely has been hidden- from the children, parents, and of course, the society. Of late there has been some talk about the same, but not enough. With some scandals coming to light, Goa being recognised as the child sex tourism hot spot, the Govt actually coming out with a report/ survey on CSA, and also a draft bill waiting to be put up in the ‘non functioning’ legislature to become a law. Some effort sure is on!

But on a personal level, how many parents tell their kids about the possibility of being abused, that its ok to refuse and whom to confide into? How many parents accept the child’s complain that he/she has been abused? And what do they about it, except keeping mum, and asking the child to do the same for the sake of reputation, family ties and the like? For in many a cases, the abuser is a known, trusted person, working on this relationship of trust! And it doesn’t happen only to the poor ones, but the rich and not so rich are equally vulnerable!

Its time to sensitise the society about the issue. Its time to get out and make some noise, to  taboo this taboo and give the kids a life they deserve. There is an NGO down South that is doing great work in this field. Its called Tulir. I read about it long back in 2^nd year of college. Was and am truly impressed with their holistic strategy to deal with the problem. Iv seen their posters in The Hindu paper- child section, teaching children whats the right and the wrong touch. Iv read about their drives and workshops with parents and schools, to sensitise them to signs of an abused child- changed behaviour, preference for seclusion, lack of trust and the like. I am sure they have saved many many children from facing hell, and I salute all those behind this effort for the wonderful work that they are doing.
(http://tulirindia.blogspot.com/

http://www.childsexualabuseinindia.blogspot.com/)

We need more such Tulirs to save the future.

And as a passing thought it strikes me, that:

 A child’s gullibility, and vulnerability, often fades away with time, age and experiences. But  one’s past never really leaves one. And neither does the mistakes of others.