The Hand that Rocks the Cradle

Blessings on the hand of women!

Angels guard its strength and grace,

In the palace, cottage, hovel,

Oh, no matter where the place;

Would that never storms assailed it,

Rainbows ever gently curled;

For the hand that rocks the cradle

Is the hand that rules the world.

Infancy's the tender fountain,

Power may with beauty flow,

Mother's first to guide the streamlets,

From them souls unresting grow--

Grow on for the good or evil,

Sunshine streamed or evil hurled;

For the hand that rocks the cradle

Is the hand that rules the world.

Woman, how divine your mission

Here upon our natal sod!

Keep, oh, keep the young heart open

Always to the breath of God!

All true trophies of the ages

Are from mother-love impearled;

For the hand that rocks the cradle

Is the hand that rules the world.

Blessings on the hand of women!

Fathers, sons, and daughters cry,

And the sacred song is mingled

With the worship in the sky--

Mingles where no tempest darkens,

Rainbows evermore are hurled;

For the hand that rocks the cradle

Is the hand that rules the world.

 

William Ross Wallace (1819-1881)

My Friends..how much I miss you guys..

I really wish I had my friends,
at just an arms distance right now,
so I could just hug them,
and cry my heart out.

Without having to reason,
Without having to give one,
Without posing the questions,
Having mine answered.

How much I miss that familiarity,
That feeling of being a family,
When a look would be a conversation,
An eye contact, a confirmation.

I really wish to cry on your shoulders,
for I know you would understand,
That everything doesnt need a reason;
Even when my tears just flow like sand.

I miss you guys so much! :(

When Doctors turn Patient

Often its the patients who woe,

About the ailments and much more.

The doctors, see the symptoms though,

And prescribe some medicines,

Telling one, not to feel low.

Often what surprises me,

Is their lack of sympathy,

Their utter immunity,

To the patients disabilities.

But when doctors turn patients,

Sometimes though few,

They realise what all,

The medicines really do.

The nausea, the tummy aches,

The reeling head, the troubles they make.

Then they slowly, begin to appreciate,

That all that patients do, is really not fake.

The patient just looks on,

Telling the doctor that it shall pass,

With experience can recommend,

A drug that shall soothe the uneasiness,  making it past.

Oh the poor doctors, shall sometimes

Put themselves in the patients shoes,

Even though that forces them,

To sometimes often visit the loos.

But don’t you worry doctor,

Its all in the game,

Its a give and take that is shared,

For the relation has a name! :) 

The angel who just smiled.

Driving past Prayaas, an organisation that works for the specially abled children, i was reminded of the time, years back, when my life took a turn and landed me there. Abrupt, clueless, lost and raw, i went there searching for myself; to heal and be revealed. I was scared, as any unsure, beaten 19 year old would be, of an unknown path that she was about to take. Or the unknown path that life was to take her on.

I met the lady in charge of the place. She was a friend of my mom, and so the contact. She took me around and showed me the place. And then she left me to discover what i wanted to do. the battle had begun. Everyday, the naive me would take the pains of travelling in buses with unknown routes, having the knack of catching all the wrong ones, and then be shouted upon by conductors. They left me at all random parts of Chandigarh after hours of touring. From there i would figure out how to reach Prayaas. The heat of the summer wasn’t particularly kind, it, infact, was at its peak. Sweltering long rides, long sweaty walks on the roads, and tiring fights with the Rickshaw wallas. All to reach prayaas.

There too, i moved from one room to the other. Only in the hope of finding a way of helping the kids who came there, and not just sit and watch while the experts helped them.  i felt helpless, but still thankful for the way God made me. but the need to fruitfully do something for someone was just getting to a frustrating end.  After a couple of visits and many many hours spent, i was mulling over the idea of calling it quits, and think of another course of action.

Don’t know if it was the same day or later, but yes, surely the day i decided to stop my visits to Prayaas. I walked in a corner class room, for tiny kids, suffering from a mental disorder i donot remember now. there i saw a lil girl, Tanvi was her name. She was hairy, sweaty, with a sleeping eye, and no sense of self. She was almost neglected by her parents, an unwanted being in the house. I talked to her, called out her name, and for the first time since she came to prayaas, (as her teachers told me) she looked up in response, and gave me a big toothy smile.

Within seconds, the smile had vanished and the lost look and repetitive behaviour back. this is way before the surprise of her teachers and their narration of the same to me, and my realising of how big a thing it was for tanvi to react that way, could be assimilated.   

But it was that one big toothy smile, that changed my perspective in life. It gave me hope. It was for tanvi that i kept going back. She made me visit her, and talk to her, look at her and pray for her, for that smile to flash again. But it didn’t. That similar moment never came back.  But that smile of a few seconds, has lasted me many years. It marked the beginning of many things iv done and shall do in my life.

I stopped going to Prayaas when Tanvi’s family stopped sending her there anymore. I don’t know what became of her. How she is, and how big shes grown. Its been many years now.

There were a lot of things and places i visited after Prayaas. Places, the names of which I donot even remember now.  Pankaj, a friend, who got married the same day I crossed Prayaas the other day, helped me so much! I remember going with him to a school in Mohali for differently abled children, who have boarding facilities for them and were doing so much for them. another place in Karuna Sadan, where we saw how beautifully they were vocationally training these children. We toyed with many ideas for them, but nothing really worked out i guess. Maybe cz sometime later, cant place exactly when, i was to meet my kids. a bubbling household of a family of children. i never realised then, how they would dictate my life. I never realised then, the impact that one decision, to stop in my track, turn back, and walk to enquire from Sisters, whom I called ma’am then, about what this children’s home was about, would have on my life.   

But my today, is to Tanvi Modi, who taught me what a smile can mean.

I wish escapism was a solution,

I wish,  I was a hard hearted soul,

I wish I lay beyond the realms of conformity,

Beyond,  what the world calls wisdom.

I wish patience had no meaning,

That struggle was not demeaning,

I wish I could speak what I think,

And not be stuck in bargains.

I wish nothing made me angry,

I wish nothing needed solace,

I wish I was among the very many,

For whom life is just a kiss. 

Its a lonely battle, it is.
You're on your own in this.
The familiarity of amiss,
The comfort of dismiss.
Hope, its worth the risk,
This lonely battle, that is.

Call it Murphy's law, or life, but when things get murky, ur always bloody alone.
and when things get murkier, you are still so fucking alone.

A pensive mood, And everything is screwed.

The mental battle of this strife,

The yearning to give up

And live some other life,

One,  that is today bright;

But living darkness now,

For tomorrow to alight.

The constant fight,

For things that delight;

With none in sight,

Hoping for a light,

For a high of considerable height,

Bearing with today’s plight,

Constant gnawing despite.

To just run away,

Far far away, to some godforsaken respite.

What a bargain- your today for a tomorrow,

That maybe,

For everyone elses surprise,

Telling you its your prize,

Does anyone realise,

It price?

The tears and the cries?

Once, twice, even thrice,

And finally they say, nice!

You’ve been sensible,

Its been destined,

While other’s recline,

Lay back, in waters saline,

Dine, drinking fine wine,

Someone toils,

Burning the midnight oil,

To define,

Some kind of sunshine,

To fill in, to fall in line,

Something to hold on to,

Something,  to call mine.

Reflections..

How I long for the days I do,

Like the early, lovely morning dew,

The warmth I miss,

Like a sunny winter day bliss,

Of small gestures of happiness.

The buzz of sounds, surround,

The lazy pace, withdrawn.

The easy rhythm, once

Wondrously driven,

Now hijacked by the

worldly heavens.

Its clear to see, like a starry sky,

Its clear to me, that the stakes are high.

The tough gets tougher,

The rough only rougher,

The continuity of suffer,

The need of a cover,

But its just day another,

The goals, a little further.

A heavy sigh,

Another morning to night,

Without a thing in sight,

As the world goes by,

I miss my belongingness,

Which once, kept me alive.

whats a woman without her moods?

Whats a woman without her moods?

Sometimes tangy, sometimes subdued.

The myriad hues,

Which transform without a clue,

From a dazzling smile,

To a frown, that can kill a lie.

The twinkling eyes,

In moments, can turn into sighs,

From the highest highs,

That can make one fly,

To the lows so low,

That are worse than dying.

The robust words,

Bursting in herds,

Can easily be followed,

By a deathly silence,

That can leave one hallowed.

A woman is magic,

Sometimes taking too dearly,

Things that are not even tragic.

But if adversity arrives,

She looks it in the eye,

Challenging, beckoning, rather threatening;

She finds her peace,

Keeping troubles at a crease,

Life she can tease,

Without any appease,

Nothing makes her cease!

Going on, with her head held high,

With her emotions conqured,

None of her moods should be tampered,

Herself, she can allow to be pampered,

For she lives, by her own example.

Love a woman,

Find her cute,

For whats a woman,

Without her moods!

Haphazard puzzle of a simple picture.

The confusion, frustration,

Vulnerability of emotions.

Weak, yet strong. Strong, yet weak.

Unknown, incomprehensible,

Lacking everything, yet nothing.

Decipher. Discover.

Just yourself and no one.

No one. Just yourself.

Be the reason, Be the factor,

The benefactor, The attractor.

Realise. Recover. Endeavour. Emerge

dedicated : to the girls who empathise, to the men who woo, the ones, who shall soon be victims too!

Never believe a  man who woos you,

Who promises that hel love u,

Even if ur size was twos u.

If there ever was a never,

Save it for the endeavour,

The very many, if u shall fall,

For the tasks ahead are rather tall.

Before you know,

And learn to endure,

The floating feeling,

The oh! So appealing,

The loving looks,

The promises to cook,

The love story of a book,

Is all just a hook!

And once hooked,

You shall remain booked,

Being cooked, with taunts

And comments,

And insistent repents,

Especially about the size of twos,

By the man who once wooed!

;)

2011 - just began, just about ended!

i just remember 2011 just about beginning.. it had been about six odd months since i was blogging, and about a year from today, i didnt know, but something was cooking!

2011 had just about begun. looking at the calender now, I realsie that it is about to end. the months have passed,  wizzed away actually. but it seems like years. years that have merrily, happily skipped their way to today.

life takes strange turns sometimes,
in unprecedented ways,
it makes you realise,
that life is beautiful,
no matter what the time,
no matter how many times,
its precious, and shall remain so,
with a beautiful smile!


:)

Touched By an Angel

We, unaccustomed to courage
exiles from delight
live coiled in shells of loneliness
until love leaves its high holy temple
and comes into our sight
to liberate us into life.

Love arrives
and in its train come ecstasies
old memories of pleasure
ancient histories of pain.
Yet if we are bold,
love strikes away the chains of fear
from our souls.

We are weaned from our timidity
In the flush of love's light
we dare be brave
And suddenly we see
that love costs all we are
and will ever be.
Yet it is only love
which sets us free.


Maya Angelou

Bye Bye Joy...

25 May marks the day we had to give up Joy..
here is a small poem I wrote after we buried him, to remain with us forever in our thoughts and talks.

To another world you have left,

Leaving us to cherish you,

Happy times, laughter, songs,

And now some tears too..

How much I’ll miss you,

You do not know,

Your home feels lonely,

Without you and your stones!

Bye bye lil Joy

You’ll always be my Joy –Toy,

Our lil saint in white fur,

Sparkling eyes, even triangular!

Forgive us Joy, if you think it

Was wrong,

We wanted the best for you,

And know you were strong.

You’re a fighter, a survivor,

A strong headed admirer,

You will be loved.. forever,

As you always were,

My lil honey bun, Mr. Joy Sir! 

My 25th Birthday..

if there ever could be a birthday
it just had to be today!

if a smile is sacred, i can smile all through...
in my eyes, which reflect my surprise..
till the sunrise, by the moonlight of the night..
I.. am left with a wonderful smile!

:)..

May 2, 2011. 

Asking for Roses

..and just how many times have Ritu and me read this poem..over and over again!:)

A house that lacks, seemingly, mistress and master, With doors that none but the wind ever closes, Its floor all littered with glass and with plaster; It stands in a garden of old-fashioned roses. I pass by that way in the gloaming with Mary; 'I wonder,' I say, 'who the owner of those is.' 'Oh, no one you know,' she answers me airy, 'But one we must ask if we want any roses.' So we must join hands in the dew coming coldly There in the hush of the wood that reposes, And turn and go up to the open door boldly, And knock to the echoes as beggars for roses. 'Pray, are you within there, Mistress Who-were-you?' 'Tis Mary that speaks and our errand discloses. 'Pray, are you within there? Bestir you, bestir you! 'Tis summer again; there's two come for roses. 'A word with you, that of the singer recalling-- Old Herrick: a saying that every maid knows is A flower unplucked is but left to the falling, And nothing is gained by not gathering roses.' We do not loosen our hands' intertwining (Not caring so very much what she supposes), There when she comes on us mistily shining And grants us by silence the boon of her roses. Robert Frost

SONGS HAVE A WAY..

a wonderful song....that plays sometimes at wonderful places!


COUNTRY ROADS..TAKE ME HOME!


Almost heaven, West Virginia 
Blue Ridge Mountains, Shenandoah River 
Life is old there, older than the trees 
Younger than the mountains, blowing like a breeze 

Chorus: 
Country roads, take me home 
To the place I belong 
West Virginia, Mountain Mama 
Take me home, country roads 

All my memories, gathered 'round her 
Miners' Lady, stranger to blue water 
Dark and dusty, painted on the sky 
Misty taste of moonshine, teardrop in my eye 

Chorus 

I hear her voice, in the morning hour she calls me 
The radio reminds me of my home far away 
And drivin' down the road I get the feeling 
That I should have been home yesterday, yesterday 


love the song!...and ....

..the night..

Was it the conversation of the night,

Or the night of long conversation,

That left me wanting to be this way,

This way, that I cannot explain.

Was it the words that mattered,

Or the silence that flattered,

When time not only moves,

But also stands still on cues.

Life happened, and how,

Everytime it seem, like a

Blessing is bestowed,

How you and me vowed,

Even when around was just a crowd.

Seasons seem changed,

Flowers blossoming for reasons insane,

Smiles that take a while,

To hide and be hidden,

The spark that can seldom,

Be missed or be mistaken..

The night of long conversation and

The conversation of the night,

Reaffirms my faith,

That miracles happen sometimes!!

WOMANLY THOUGHTS..

Looking for a red ribbon the other day, I chanced upon some old stuff that used to be up on my walls in college..and none, I shall declare, have been written by me! though I mostly believe in the meanings conveyed..

To begin with.. about women..

A WOMAN SHOULD...

Be a feminist during her college days,

Be career minded and care oriented,

Play the game of hide and seek with her suitor,

Dare to stay happily unmarried all her life,

Love being a woman,

Buy flowers for herself,

Feel the wind on her face,

Go camping, trekking,

Be bold, be shy,

Trust men, occasionally..

Give that second chance to everyone,

Be romantic,

Get emotionally hyped over nothing, and cool down suddenly.

Go on a diet, yet eat chocolates and ice-creams,

Get high, and stay high on life,

Love her man, and her reflection,

Learn to love herself,

Kiss herself goodnight in the mirror,

Get wild, and tame her tears,

Break rules, lead the dances,

Drive her man’s car,

Run his bank account,

Manage his business, wear fine clothes,

Yet know, he’s a man, and she the woman,

Get flattered,

Wear latest fashion, and wear fine diamonds

For no special reason,

Lay down principles in her life,

Go out window shopping all alone,

Know the way to her man’s heart,

And last but not the least..

Never forget the little girl within! :)

A woman is..

An angle of truth, a dream of fiction,

Shes afraid of a wasp, will scream at a mouse,

But can tackle a stranger all alone in the house.

Sour as vinegar, sweet as rose,

She’l kiss you one minute, then turn up her nose!

She’ll win u in a rage, enchant u in silk,

She’ll be stronger than brandy,

And milder than milk!

At times she’ll be vengeful, merry and sad;

She can hate u like poison, and love u like mad!

A man can be called ruthless if he bombs a country to oblivion.

A woman can be called ruthless, if she puts u on hold!

Our truest life is, when we are in our dreams - Awake!

The experience of that proverb, is an even truer moment in life to behold. Its only when u sit back and reflect, u feel the happiness of it washing over u, and the sensation of reality, at that moment, is again, beyond words. 

I pray, God blesses everyone, in the same way!

Life happens.. and sometimes, nicely so! :)